Dear Martha,

I don’t usually pay much attention to what you’re up to, but I had access to your newest magazine and took a stab at it. First, I’d like to thank you for the lovely ideas. Second, I’d like to mention that I’m poor..and couldn’t afford your project.

The specific project I am referring to is your article on printmaking, stamped clothing, and linens. Your idea to use the technique on curtains was a stroke of genius to me, Girl Who Bought Cheap, Boring, Stark White Ikea Curtains. Now, I should preface this by saying that I am on a budget. No, really. I mean..come on. I just started college. And I am recently re-employed, so I’m being reeeeeeeeeeeal careful. So I’m stuck with these ugly white curtains with HUGE, tab tops. And I decide to use your stamp idea on my curtains. I made the trip to Michael’s for supplies. I needed stamps, shapes, stencils or rubber molds of some sort. I needed fabric paint. That is all I need. This should have been easy. This should have been cheap. And you let me down, Woman. You let me down.

My trip to Michael’s for supplies forced me to get creative. If I had done this project the way Martha suggested, I would have spent about $25 for rubber stamps (which, I found, did not hold up to the thick fabric paint and were too small of a print) or about $20 ordering rubber molds online.  Just for stamps!

The greatest thing I learned about this project is that a stamp can come from just about anywhere. If you want a circle pattern, use cups of different sizes. If you want something unique, try cutting up some fruits and vegetables and using those as stamps. If you have twelve lifetimes to do this project, consider making or buying some stencils or hand-painting if you are so talented.

The general idea: Use some cute stamps or get creative with shapes and fabric paint to turn plain white curtains in to something that accents my vintage pink walls and creamy antique furniture.

Supplies: Tulip Fabric Paint in Linen and Pink ( I had to mix to get the color needed,) $5.99 each for the big bottles.. I could have made due with the smaller ones for sure.

Large foam stamps from the stencils/kids art section in vintagey-floral $.99 each

Paint brushes for applying paint to stamp evenly $1.00

Large sheet of cardboard to protect work surface – Free courtesy of minimally invasive dumpster diving at local coffee shop.

A few pieces of paper – or, better yet, an old pillow case to do a few test prints and plan out your pattern.

Technique:

FIRST. If you’re one of those neat people, you’ll want to iron your curtains first. Once the paint has been applied, you won’t be able to do any washing, drying, or heating for 72 hours. I am not one of said neat people. I like my curtains rumply and tired looking. Once you’re done ironing (or not ironing, whatever, no judgments here) position the cardboard under your curtain, with one edge of the curtain lined up with the edge of the cardboard. We will work section by section, repositioning the cardboard as we go.

It is DEFINITELY a bad idea to dip the stamp directly in to the paint and start stamping away.  The paint goes on too thick, goopy, and uneven. Sponge applicators take a lot of effort to get the right amount of paint on.  I played around with different applications, and it seems that a good old 1/4 – 1/2 inch thick paint brush does the trick wonderfully.

Squirt your paint on to paint holder of choice. I have a big stack of plain white dessert plates that I purchased from the thrift store for about 70 cents each. You can also use an everyday plate. This paint comes off clean from hard surfaces once it has dried.

Use the paint brush to apply a thin, even coat of paint to the foam stamp. Press stamp in to curtain, careful not to smudge as you pull the stamp up. Observe. Prettttttttttttty…

Continue stamping to your hearts content. I kept it simple, and suggest a single stamp pattern if you’re artistically challenged like me, but I’ll bet people have done much prettier things with several stamps. I’m just not that talented.

Allow to dry (you know, all 48 seconds before the sweltering summer takes to it,) and then consider alternative situations for the ugly ass tab tops. Take a moment to admire, and then mentally kick yourself in the face for not ironing like you should have..

(The curtains cost $15 for two panels, Ikea. Paint and supplies are from Michael’s,  around $18 for everything, plus a few extra foam stamps for future projects)