One. – It turns out, you can live life without actually living life. I had no idea. It also turns out that life, contrary to what I have grown up being told, does not have to be as difficult as it has been.

Two. – The life I lived in Los Angeles was only part of what I wanted for myself. I’m not in school right now, and I really want to be. My job is wonderful, but not a career path. Moving forward is what matters here, and I’ll be doing that when I get home.

Three. – I do know myself as well as I thought I did this whole time.

Four. – I am not as mature as I thought I was. And I am perfectly content with that.

Five. – My boyfriend. He is that wonderful. It takes a good man to know when to be my support, it takes an even better one to support without me having to ask. Sometimes he only says half of what he means, sometimes he says things and I have no idea what he means at all, and sometimes he says nothing and makes perfect sense. It’s ridiculous, but we’re workin’ it out. Some distance and several quiet nights where all I could think about was how badly I wanted to tell him what I saw and share it with him have made that very clear.

Six. – My family. My sister will be my sister even if I do not like her all the time. Even if I am still harboring childhood bitterness ten years from now, she will still be my sister and we will still be friends. She will still be the first person I idolized growing up.  I do not know why, but my father and I cannot seem to comprehend each other. I think it might be because we are too similar, and that is very scary for both of us. I DO like my brother! And I love my mother, even if she drives me crazy and live in a house full of people who openly do not.  With all of the crazy floating around, we might never find a balance that makes this life peaceful when we all co-exist, but maybe we can find some with a little space. Maybe we’re so weird that getting closer is not the trick, maybe we have to get a little further apart.

Seven. – Speech is a bit overrated. I arrived in France with survival French, some basic knowledge, and a rough sketch of the culture. The French I do know is awfully handy, but the greatest moments I have had have been when I couldn’t use words. When I couldn’t get my point across, and I didn’t know how else to do it, and I had to get creative. Note pad and pen, pointing, jumping up and down and flailing my arms to immitate what I am trying to say. French people – they like you better when you are less inhibited. People in general, I’m guessing, will like this news. Also, you would be amazed and how much can be said with a facial expression or one word. Or how much conversation can be sparked by walking around with something interesting in your hand. Or how many friends one can make with people who do not speak a common language with you. It’s amazing how much conversation can happen when you learn to stop talking.

Eight. – You should try – try very hard – not to care most of the time. Very few things are worth caring about. An overblown fight with my dad that is just not worth continuing is just that — not worth continuing. Someone, somewhere in the world hates me for the fun of it? Well, that sucks, but I can’t fix everything so I guess I’ll learn to live with it. . If I run around caring about EVERYTHING on the planet, I will be my mother in ten years.  I do not want to be my mother. For the record, though, I also don’t want to be so focused on not becoming my mother that I accidentally become exactly my father. I’d appreciate some traits from both of them, but I’m watching my back on both sides.

Nine. – Relax. It’s okay. The world goes around the exact same way even if you do not have a productive day or make tons of money all the time or if you sleep until 2 PM on a Wednesday.

Ten. – Sex and nudity and all that? Yeah, those things are only a gigantic taboo in America. We like to teach our people that nudity is weird, sex is bad and unhealthy, and that you are weird if you do not believe that. That is such a ridiculous thing to teach people. It’s natural, it’s inevitable, and it is NOT that big of a deal.

This trip to France was meant to be my escape from home, my little slice of heaven, my space to live and learn. It turned out to be a month of lessons, strange thoughts, and  tiny observations. I needed this trip. I had no idea how much until I got here, but I needed it.